To the esteemed leaders of our national carrier: some ideas from a regular, weary (and fed up) traveller…

  1. Stop calling yourself “Australia’s business airline” until you can get business people to their meetings on time. As a weekly (minimum) flyer my experience has been poor at best and utterly miserable most of the time.

    Of my past ten Qantas flights in 2007, only one has left at the scheduled time, two have been cancelled and three have been more than 90 minutes late. It has reached a point where ground staff appear unsurprised by delays, they are par for the course, almost fully expected.

    I now approach the airport in the same way I might approach the casino… will I get lucky today? Will the flight leave on time? Will I get home before my son is in bed? Or will I emerge with my head in my hands, bitter, poorer for the experience, vowing never to return?

  2. Stop spending money on peripheral “fluffiness” and start investing in quality assets that deliver your core service better. We don’t care about fancy lounges and new logos. We want efficiency, reliability and courteous service.

    Last month when my flight was delayed more than 90 minutes because all aircraft in Melbourne had ice in their wings, I was told to be appreciative that Melbourne had its single “de-icing machine” and that this problem was rare?

    RARE? It is called winter, it comes around every year and chances are that ice on wings will re-occur – do not be surprised by this. This should be part of your planning and scheduling. MORE DE-ICING MACHINES PLEASE!

  3. Repay our loyalty by assuming some accountability. Just as the public transport carriers are penalized in a manner directly proportionate to their failure to meet schedules or customer satisfaction, so too should Qantas be held to the same standard.

    I proposed a system where Qantas refunds 10% of the ticket price for every 15 minutes a flight is delayed… I will send you my bill for $8,457 shortly.

  4. Stop calling them reward points until I can reward myself by booking the flight I want to the destination I want, at the time of my choice. You may as well call them crap shoot points, where customers roll up with their frequent flyer points and see what holiday they can take in 2011…
  5. Please refrain from advertising “Flights to Sydney every 30 minutes” until the flight leaving in 30 minutes was the flight actually scheduled to leave at that time. I’m sure aircraft are leaving for Sydney at 8:00, 8:30 and 9:00am; however the passengers were likely scheduled on the 6:00, 6:30 and 7:00 flights.
  6. Introduce a “Qantas Business Inefficiency Index”. This new business tool can measure the number of hours and financial costs caused by Qantas which has negatively affected Australian business efficiency by flight delays, rescheduled meetings, hampered commercial activity, etc.

    This index can sit next to its sister index, the “Qantas Family Inefficiency Index” where we can measure the number of minutes and hours that Australian travellers are away from their families longer than scheduled due to your delays…

In any event, our time has come to an end… I must now sell my Qantas shares, sell my frequent flyer points and get used to parking at the other end of the terminal…

CRIKEY: If you have a gripe to air about any of Australia’s airlines, we want to hear from you. Email boss@crikey.com.au.