The first candidates to sit the Australian Citizenship test will be put through their paces today, 33 aspirants who will be quizzed on various elements of critical Australiana: spell Vegemite, name Tommy Hanlon Jnr’s father etc. Today’s class going for green and gold will of course be the first not-quite Australians to see the full list of questions included in the citizenship paper, a closely-guarded secret to this point but a constant source of amused speculation.

Will this be one of the multiple choice puzzlers?

Q10: An Australian election will be held:

a) at a time and place determined by Dennis Shanahan and Newspoll,
b) in Australia
c) who wants to know?
d) never. Is never good for you?

The real answer seems to be a date that, like some misty figment on a distant horizon, seems only to recede the closer you move toward it. It’s a bore. The real question is this: what exactly are we waiting for PM?