It’s the great institutionalised mass intrusion on the Australian media calendar. The news point: apparently people get drunk on the public lawns at the Melbourne Cup. Who knew?

Fact is most citizens consider it the one day of the year they can let their hair down in the certain knowledge that everyone else within the visible horizon is getting just as smashed as they are and no real harm can come to anyone.

Then, at around 6 o’clock, as the crowds thin and the staggerers are left staggering, prone and propped against mounds of their fallen friends, the tabloid photo hacks shuffle from their lairs and start hunting for the most grotesque, sad little shows of humanity’s susceptibility to the dangerous combination that is warm Carrington Blush and five inch heels.

There is no news in this, just a ritualised annual tabloid photo-gallery parade of shame, vulnerability and intrusion.

Here are some highlights from the enlightening Herald Sun gallery: Punters Off Their Races. Hey, at least we photoshopped their faces: