Aussies shopped ’til they dropped in January

Shop till we drop. Nothing recessionary about this morning’s Australian Bureau of Statistics figures on retail sales for January. A healthy rise of 1.2 percent from December, when they fell a revised 0.9 percent, was, need I say it, much greater than predicted by the astrologers known as business economists. According to Bloomberg their median prediction was a sales increase of 0.5 per cent.

The market on which we base the Crikey Election Indicator reacted to this latest encouraging sign of a growing economy by moving further in the belief that the Reserve Bank will this afternoon increase interest rates by 0.25 of a percentage point with the probability at midday put at 72% with no change down to 26%.

And now for something completely different. The education launch worked like a charm. The TV shots of the PM with a hand puppet were just great. And even mums catching the tele out of the corner of an eye could understand C.A.T and D.O.G. mean we are really interested in education. So let’s give them one other little diversion and leak something to the morning papers we want to be friendly with to further stress that we are now a  no-nonsense government. Give them a revision of the old yarn about providing more money to shorten hospital waiting lists. A bit more of this and we should be rid of that silly old insulation business. And ready for an election as soon as we can figure out what to do with that taxation review Swanny stupidly had written.

Crisis for cartoonists. Cartoonists throughout Australia should be in mourning this morning following an apparent change in hair colour by Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard. At yesterday’s back-to-basics education launch the distinctive red was gone to be replaced by an auburn with a definite brownish hue. Crikey readers are warned that they should get in quickly to get the original colouring on their First Dog T shirts before the next edition accurately conveys the changed look. The originals are expected to become collector’s items.

Shades of Malcolm Fraser. Dmitry Medvedev is about to do a Malcolm Fraser. Anxious to avoid any of the public odium after a poor performance by his country’s athletes at the Winter Olympics, the Russian President is promising changes to the administration of sport.

From this morning’s Moscow Times

It is all eerily reminiscent of the Australian PM’s actions in setting up the Institute of Sport after the Montreal Olympics where Australian did so poorly. Given what pampering athletes has cost us since then it might be better for the Russians to simply follow the advice of the below South Park song and call it quits.

Election skulduggery. They have called in the stewards to investigate some terrible goings on in what is currently the world’s biggest election contest.

Nicolas Chartier, one of four nominated producers for The Hurt Locker in the Best Picture Oscar contest, has been caught cheating. The terrible man has broken the rules of that august body the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences by sending out multiple emails urging academy members to vote for his movie and “not a $500 million film” — an obvious reference to close-competitor Avatar.

That violated the Academy’s rule against sending mailings that “attempt to promote any film or achievement by casting a negative light on a competing film or achievement,” according to academy spokeswoman Leslie Unger. Despite the unseemly behaviour The Hurt Locker remains favourite on the Crikey Oscar Best Film Indicator.