The federal government has quietly confirmed* the new and improved lyrics for Advance Australia Fair (now with 30% more patriotism!):
Australians all let us rejoice
For we are fairly free
With iron ore and working poor
Let’s repeal 18C
Our land abounds in nature strips
On which we leave our junk
With Footy Shows and four Daddos
Conservatism’s the new punk
Beneath our radiant Border Force
We’ll keep out foreign scum
Deciding every circumstance
Under which they can come
For those who’ve come across the seas
We’ve island jails to spare
Don’t cross the moat, we’ll stop your boat
We do it cos we care
Australian values that we have
Like mateship, God and sport
Democracy, and bad TV
And avoiding too much thought
Gambling until we’re poor
Breathing sweet coal-filled air
With homelessness and mortgage stress
Advance Australia Fair
*To satirist Ben Pobjie
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