(Image: Crikey)

In an act of economic desperation, old mate Scomo is urging the states to put aside their differences and come together for the birth of Jesus.

“By Christmas, Mr Speaker, we should aim for Australians to be able to go to work, to be able to be with their family at Christmas, and to return to visit their friends and to look forward to a positive 2021,” he told parliament earlier this month.

I want to believe, I truly do. But it’s more credible to think that Eddie Obeid just wanted to be a goat herd than it is to think Anastasia Palaszczuk will be opening the border to the pox from the south anytime soon.

Living on the wrong side of the rabbit-proof fence from her only son, my Mum was excited by the prospect of seeing me. She’s been encouraged by the sight of Clive Palmer using his heft to get things going in WA.

But with Clive disappearing like the haunted cane toad of Christmas past and our deal or probably no deal PM having form, I told her to pump the brakes on the red-eye out of Kalgoorlie. 

I love her dearly, but with Mark McGowan quite happy to remain skipper on his “island within an island” and me being a firm proponent of the guest/fish/time maxim, I want to make sure she can get back again. 

So, the least I could do was make a Christmas pud.

This pudding will last for six months in the fridge or frozen (the time it takes Albanese to form a cogent response to the Libs).

Should the borders remain closed it is robust enough to withstand Australia post and rich enough to be deemed recession proof.

Ingredients

  • 240g sultanas
  • 150g currants
  • 2 oranges
  • 1 lemon
  • 2 cups Bundaberg Rum
  • 250g butter, softened to room temp
  • 440g Muscovado sugar
  • 5 eggs
  • 250g plain flour
  • 2 tsp baking powder 
  • 1 tsp Garam Masala
  • 1 tsp ground cardamom
  • 1 tsp ground mace 
  • 1 tsp ground star anise (do it yourself, fresh is best)
  • 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
  • 280g dried rye breadcrumbs (purchase some dark rye, eat some, dry the rest)

You will also need a steamed pudding bowl the size of Dutton’s head, and a large pot to put it in. 

Method

  1. Boil your oranges until soft. Cool, then chop finely
  2. Add the orange, sultanas, currants, zest and juice of the lemon to a large bowl
  3. Add the Bundy and mix well
  4. Cover tightly with plastic wrap; store in a cool place for a week, stirring daily
  5. Beat butter and sugar in large bowl with a wooden spoon until just combined
  6. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Beat only until combined between each addition [pro tip for the win: make sure they are at room temperature] 
  7. Add butter mixture to fruit mixture then add sifted dry ingredients and breadcrumbs; mix well
  8. Brush your pudding bowl with softened butter
  9. Cut a small circle of baking paper to line the bottom
  10. Add the pudding mix. Cover the top with baking paper and then add the lid
  11. Tie it down tightly
  12. Place it in the pot and fill to 3/4 full. Add the lid and simmer for 3 1/2 hours.

Enjoy in socially distant groupings.