(Image: Tom Red/Private Media)

Joyce words Our actual-not-as-a-joke Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce is no stranger to raising eyebrows with his behaviour in Parliament. However, yesterday featured such a… robust example of his style that it necessitated an intervention from Speaker Tony Smith. We don’t have space for the whole thing (and as ever, representing Joyce on the page is an incomplete representation — we can only ask that you use your imagination regarding his gesticulations and hue):

Joyce: I like going to the movies. I always remember Howard Hughes, The Aviator, but the Labor Party have got ‘Albo the advocator’ — the great advocator, the ideas man, straight from the pool room. But never in this whole period of time has he uttered from between his lips a word about one dam he will build in regional Australia. Not one dam is going to come out of this man. He has never uttered a word about one regional road he is going to build—

Albanese: … Mr Speaker. I am forced to bring out the ‘om weirdness’ stuff — I have no idea what this is, but it’s nothing to do with the question.

Joyce: The great advocator — there he is. We are never going to get anything constructed by him. But he did have one great idea — we saw it the other day: $300 per jab. I think that was just your idea. In fact, you were helped by the member for Shortland —

Smith: The Deputy Prime Minister needs to resume his seat. I think we might as well leave it there.

We make no allegations, but do note a tweet from former diplomat Bruce Haigh:

The George who cried wolf Dawson MP and perpetual nuisance George Christensen has “left the door open” to a split with the Coalition over vaccine passports as a “matter of principle”, according to News.com.au. We suspect the Coalition, by now, won’t be quaking in its boots. It seems Christensen’s favourite pastime that doesn’t require a passport is threatening to quit or cross the floor from the LNP.

  • July 2016: Christensen threatens to cross the floor if the government doesn’t change its plans on superannuation reform. He does not.
  • December 2016: Christensen warns his position in the party might “no longer be tenable” if the party didn’t pay more attention to the concerns of conservative voters. He does not quit.
  • February 2017: Christensen writes a “letter of demand” to then-PM Malcolm Turnbull threatening to quit over the federal government’s inaction in a sugar industry dispute affecting Dawson. He does not send it.
  • June 2017: Christensen threatens to cross the floor and vote for a debate over a Greens bill establishing a royal commission into the banks. He does not.
  • June 2017: Christensen threatens to cross the floor to vote with a Labor bill protecting penalty rates. He actually does it. Conveniently, in a trick possibly learnt from his colleague Barnaby Joyce, it makes no difference.

Change the record, buddy.

Subs watch A big factor in the attempt to off AAP last year was News Corp’s desire to launch its inhouse newswire service — NCA NewsWire. Let’s see how it’s going in matching AAP for detail and quality:

Just FYI, guys, Tudge is a member of the House of Representatives, not the Senate.

The boys Soon after it was announced we were giving Tony Abbott a bit of lunch money and a plane ticket to visit India to “strengthen Australia’s economic and trade relationship with the country”, we’re seeing what he’s up to: donning a bindi and meeting up with Gautam Adani, a man the Australian government is determined to trade with, in the face of all evidence it shouldn’t.

Also present was former New South Wales premier and high commissioner to India Barry O’Farrell. We wonder if the subject of O’Farrell’s friendly relationship with Hindu nationalists came up.