Tim Smith (Image: AAP/James Ross)

Unmitigated TimSmithery Disgraced former shadow attorney-general Tim Smith, the man who forces Morrissey to accept silver in the “worst of the Smiths” competition, yesterday told a press conference that he wasn’t going to resign and that the events of the weekend were the “worst thing that ever happened” to him. It’s a fairly passive way to describe his role in getting completely tanked and ploughing into a fence outside an eight-year-old’s bedroom.

The press pack smelt blood, knowing that no one could possibly accuse them of bias for dragging Smith over the coals regarding how much he’d had to drink, how anyone could possibly take him seriously again and his resounding, clanging hypocrisy. Long may it continue.

If Smith had a spotless record of scrupulous public service and principled, fair-minded pursuit of his ideals, he would still be in an untenable position. For the record, Smith has called for Victorian Premier Dan Andrews to resign at least 25 times. He’s also called for the following people to resign, most of them more than once:

Lisa Neville. Roz Ward. Shaun Leane. Martin Pakula. Jenny Mikakos. Kym Peake. Jeroen Weimar. Sally Capp. Will Fowles. Telmo Languiller. Tim Pallas. Sam Aziz. Anneliese van Dieman. James Merlino.

CSIR-No Has there ever been a better time to be a consultant in Australia? We’ve long catalogued the money-printing exercise that COVID has ended up being for consultancies — hundreds upon hundreds of millions of dollars handed out, rarely with any transparency about who is being paid and for what.

All of which is, obviously, a slap in the face to any government agency that could have undertaken that work, presumably with much greater transparency. And on it goes: as Innovation Aus points out, last week in Estimates it was revealed that CSIRO applied for a tender to conduct modelling for the Coalition’s net zero plan but the $6 million contract instead went to — you guessed it — McKinsey. 

Folau Play Oh, this’ll be good. The culture war around religious freedom, bigotry and the rights of an employer to control what a worker can do when they aren’t at work — a war that played out on our screens throughout 2019 — is going to start up all over again. Screen NSW and Screen Australia are funding a feature documentary looking at the Israel Folau controversy.

If you were somehow able to filter the whole dispiriting episode out, a recap: Folau, a rugby player and Pentacostal fundamentalist posted some archaic fire and brimstone garbage promising eternal damnation for (among many others) LGBTIQ people. He was (belatedly) sacked by Rugby Australia and took them to Fair Work for unlawful termination. Cue takes on takes on takes. Folau eventually got an opaque settlement which included RA saying it “acknowledges and apologises for any hurt or harm caused to the Folaus”, which shocked a lot of people who thought the decision to sack Folau had anything to do with morality. 

We in the bunker would love to watch the movie and read all the reams of rehashed think pieces it’s going to elicit but unfortunately we’re going to be busy that week seeing how far we can jam a fully ripe watermelon up our nose.

COP out Scott Morrison has exited Glasgow and COP26, leaving the real work of finalising an agreement to ministers and officials (he’s like most international leaders in that respect). That means Angus Taylor and his Industry department officials — the same outfit that worked hard to sabotage the IPCC’s emissions reduction report in order to help Australia lift coal exports — remain behind to continue their work of undermining international agreements to achieve genuine climate action.

Taylor’s real agenda was clearly broadcast on Tuesday when he proudly spoke of the taxpayer subsidy he was handing to Australia’s worst climate criminal, Santos, to prop up its discredited CCS scam. Santos CEO Kevin Gallagher defiled the COP26 conference with his presence, and the fossil fuel giant even had a stall at the conference flogging Carbon Crapture and Rortage, as it should more accurately be called. Who knows, maybe we’ll see a forged COP26 communique leaked to News Corp declaring that Santos will lead the world to a bright fossil fuel-powered future.