Radio has been full of it. Nominations for the lofty and coveted office of Australian Governor General, that is. We know who it won’t be. Kevin Rudd was quick to snuff this latest in the series of grandiose delusions that have beset the declining decades of Kim Beazley, but that gets us no closer to the real prize here: naming the next Australian head of state. Which is where we turn to talkback.
In Tassie this morning, callers were plumping for Ernie Dingo. Or Geraldine Doogue. Which is much the same thing. Melbourne listeners to the ABC nominated Aboriginal footballer and distance walker Michael Long. And Chopper Read. And the Queen. Which is a thought. Inevitably various callers in various cities suggested Les Patterson. And Dame Edna. But in Brisbane – as befits the Queensland capital – they were taking the issue seriously: Janet Holmes a Court, company director Margaret Jackson, Professor Fiona Stanley, NSW Governor Maree Bashir, and Indigenous advocate Lois O’Donaghue were all possible candidates. There was Peter Cosgrove, of course, and more than one vote for Gough Whitlam, Michael Kirby and Tom Keneally.
Somewhere in NSW a lone caller suggested John Laws. Sorry John.
And what do Crikey commentators think?
Christian Kerr: Craig Woollongong OBE (go Googling people).
Jane Nethercote: Kylie Minogue. She’s popular with queens.
Jonathan Green: Christian Kerr.
Sophie Black: Janette Howard. Loves cutting ribbons. And Yarralumla is in dire need of a makeover.
Thomas Hunter: Steve Vizard. Look on it as community service.
Leigh Josey: David Boon. The great man.
Marieke Hardy: Leila McKinnon – perhaps unable to handle petulant teenagers under pressure, but no doubt quite prepared to step up to the GG plate and force the country to take a good hard look at itself.
Peter Brent: Richard Butler.
Richard Farmer: Mary Gaudron, High Court Justice 1987-2003.
David MacCormack: Steve Irwin. While Irwin’s death may pose some problems, adept use of CGI by Australia’s burgeoning computer animation sector could overcome this in most cases, and provide Australia with a energetic, immensely popular head of state with a real commitment to the environment. While licensing costs for Irwin’s image are likely to be significant, this can be offset by the reduced cost of running Yarralumla, thereby complying with the new Government’s commitment to fiscal restraint. Irwin would also lift Australia’s profile internationally both due to his immense popularity overseas and for our being the first nation to have a dead man as constitutional head (at least since the US under Gerald Ford).
Mark Bahnisch. Liz Ellis. First woman GG – she’s a solicitor as well as a netballer, and netball is more popular than cricket. It would be a new idea and an example of fresh thinking to have a non-old fogey.
Wayne Errington: Pat Dodson.
Ian Smith: A prominent Indigenous figure such a Lowitja O’Donoghue or Marcia Langton or a senior business figure with strong Asian connections.
Norman Abjorensen: 1. Justice Michael Kirby: Erudite, brilliant, witty, democratic, always interesting. 2. Broadcaster Phillip Adams: For the same reasons. 3. Environmentalist Jack Mundey: A true Aussie hero, a democrat and tireless activist in worthy causes.
Your turn. Send us your thoughts to boss@crikey.com.au, with “Guv’nor” in the subject field.
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