The “people’s forum”, Sky News constantly-talking-head David Speers announced last night, has become a mainstay of Australian election campaigns — a chance for wannabe rulers, swaddled in News Limited corporate bunting, to parade their wares in front of an audience of swinging voters.

For the mute media — barred from asking questions — the sole point of interest is the outside possibility of an “uncommitted” punter going rogue in the manner of a Julia Gillard shopping centre sneak attack or, in its wildest dreams, mass revulsion in the mould of John Hewson.

When Crikey arrived at the Geelong RSL at 5.50pm for Tony Abbott’s forum, the dining room queue for food was already well underway — although there seemed to be huge confusion over a tempting array of refrigerated salads next to the cash register. Individually, the iceberg mix set you back $3, but despite clear signage many thought it complementary, prompting heavy handed interventions from several wait staff.

Soon enough, a bevy of Geelong Advertiser buzzards with names like Stacey and Candice were circling menacingly to advise that, with the main event still two hours away, it would be wise to chill and grab a cup of tea as the denizens of the country’s most marginal seat gathered their thoughts.

With the temperature plummeting and light fading, the Textile, Clothing and Footwear Union and Geelong Trades Hall secretary (and Socialist Alliance stalwart) Tim Gooden were on hand to deliver a chilly embrace for about 50 union hard-heads rugged up on the median strip next to Barwon Heads Road.

Local MP Darren Cheeseman — the Kevin Rudd supporter who somehow managed to wrest Corangamite out of Liberal hands in 2007 and again in 2010 — was on hand to hammer some lines on Abbott’s plans to rip $2 billion out of the local car assistance fund. As an alternative series of questions on the high dollar, 457 visas, WorkChoices and more funds for schools circulated, the Cheese told the crowd a local Aldi store had employed German tilers to build its roof when there were heaps of local roofmen looking for work.

The Pogues’ Dirty Old Town and Steve Earle’s Copperhead Road blared out into the great wide open and some mellow anti-Abbott songs were dutifully bashed out by three members of the Trades Hall choir. But a cunning plan to shine torches into Abbott’s eyes on arrival (“we’re shining a spotlight on his policies”, said Gooden) was missed as the Tone whizzed past in his Ford Territory and scooted through the front entrance.

Abbott’s most notable intervention in Corangamite to date was a notorious near-death experience between his Comcar, a mini-bus and a semi-trailer on the Princes Highway near Winchelsea during the 2010 election — and last night, at the tail end of the pollie pedal, he seemed on auto-pilot, safe in the knowledge that former ABC news presenter Sarah Henderson will almost certainly succeed Cheeseman in September.

Abbott maintained a mealy-mouthed middle ground throughout, balancing account manager Chris’ calls for a crackdown on illegal boat people welfare cheats and small business owner Karl Morris’ frustration at his staff taking “50” days of leave a year, with a recognition that government owes a duty of care to society’s least powerful.

It wasn’t really Abbott’s fault — it’s no secret Australia’s political parties, devoid of the coherent manifestos of yore, rely on focus groups to tailor their messages and give their armies of staffers something to analyse. But the “people’s forum” idea takes that to its logical conclusion as the political class demands actual real-life electors live and in the flesh to discover once and for all what’s really floating around in their heads. For $50 in cash and a “light supper”, it’s not a bad gig.

The voters, of course, just repeat the same vague bugbears on law and order, “government spending” making things “more expensive” and anecdotes about things that annoy them on the train. The big issue in Geelong — the future of manufacturing — didn’t even get a look-in last night until Speers piped up to remind Abbott of the festering tension in the final seconds.

In between, there was John from Mount Duneed on the privatisation of Medibank, V/Line employee Graham with a dixer on whether the carbon tax will be abolished “completely” (a move that would presumably drive Geelong commuters back to cars and leave him out of a job) and a tennis coach whingeing about petrol prices.

Pleasingly, Lachlan from Deakin University managed to extract a semi-concession that the new Parliament might decide to adopt a conscience vote on gay marriage. “Whether that remains our policy after the election is a matter for the incoming Coalition party room,” Abbott said cryptically.

On their way out, voters were asked to deposit their wristbands in one of three boxes to rule on whether the former Joe Bullock associate had won them over. Forty-six percent said yes, 16% said no and 38% were still on the fence — a window for Cheeseman who will be desperately bending ears for the next five months to convince them it’s Abbott and Henderson, not himself, who are the real blow-ins.