In the old days, maps of the southern seas used to warn off the unwary with the legend: Here Be Dragons. In modern times we have a new legend to frighten the gullible: Here Be Boat People.

These monsters, we are told, constitute a threat not just to our borders but to our way of life, indeed to our very survival. They may approach us in the seductive disguise of asylum seekers, pretending to be no more than fellow human beings in distress, but do not be fooled. These disease carrying, drug smuggling, child murdering terrorists are evil to the core. No effort must be spared in keeping them from our pristine shores, no deterrent can be too stern and terrible. These are the Boat People.

Are we really expected to swallow this nonsense? You bet we are, and in 2001 we did. The Tampa election, with its slogan “We will decide who comes to this country and the circumstances under which they come” worked a treat. The television news showed normally apathetic voters leaving the booths brandishing Liberal how-to vote cards and boasting “Yes, I’m for Johnny Howard because he knows how to deal with the towel-heads!” The Pacific Solution of deporting any survivors to foreign hell-holes and hang the expense proved hugely popular, despite being about as Pacific as Genghis Khan.

Of course, it was all a sham; a few years later most of those Howard had sworn would never set foot on Australian soil were quietly admitted as genuine refugees, and no one even noticed. At the same time the waves of aeroplane people — asylum seekers established enough to secure tourist visas — continued unabated. Again, no one notices or cares. It’s only when they make their way past the great protective sea by which our national anthem assures us we are girt that the fear and loathing cranks up.

And Malcolm Turnbull, political desperation having finally overcome whatever residual scruples he may have once had, is ready to kick it along. With Alexander Downer and Phillip Ruddock, those grim spectres of yesteryear urging him forward, Turnbull is prepared to claim that not only is the recent increase in Boat People the fault of Kevin Rudd and his bleeding heart government, but so is the explosion and loss of life on a boat last week. If they hadn’t been on their way to Australia it wouldn’t have happened, right?

This makes as much sense as blaming Howard and his government for the far greater death toll from the sinking of SIEV X, which happened on their watch; but neither decency nor consistency figure very large on the opposition radar at present. After all, not long ago the coalition parties voted with Labor to soften the conditions under which asylum seekers were held, a move which included the abolition of Temporary Protection Visas. Now Turnbull wants them back, as a deterrent.

But he has stopped short of promising to reintroduce the Pacific Solution. Well, what a wuss. We want a real deterrent, not a wimpy one. The least we can do is lock the bastards up behind razor wire until they go mad; that worked last time, didn’t it? But hang on, the United Nation High Commission on Refugees reckons that conditions are getting worse, that Boat People are getting more audacious. So it’s time for a final solution: no more Mister Nice Guy.

From now on Boat People should be shot on sight. After all, we’re facing a Boat People Crisis; The Australian assures us of this every day. It’s time to declare war on Boat People, like we declared war on terror and war on drugs. Fire at will and take no prisoners. Australians have never shirked a call to arms before and nor will they now.

And imagine the battle cry: “Malcolm knows how to deal with the towel heads!” Now there’s a slogan to take to an election. Bring it on.

This was in fact Treasurer Wayne Swan’s challenge to Turnbull last week when Turnbull threatened to once again oppose the government’s bill to raise the tax on alcopops.

Assuming that Steve Fielding maintains his irrational stance, the second defeat of the bill after an interval of three months would set up the conditions necessary for the government to call a double dissolution election. Swan insists that the government has no intention of doing so and indeed despite the state of the polls an early election on the grounds of a failed grog tax would be an unacceptable risk. But this does not mean that the government would not like to have a trigger ready if the right circumstances arise.

Turnbull’s relentless negativity is starting to be set in political stone; his Dr No image has become a popular nickname. If he continues to oppose every government initiative, Kevin Rudd will be very keen to exploit it. An election about alcopops might be off the agenda but if Turnbull keeps his promise to knock back the enabling legislation for Rudd’s super colossal broadband scheme the opportunity might be too good to miss.

There would be no need reintroduce those bills: the trigger would already be there and once the campaign got under way the voters would quickly forget that the election was supposed to be about alcopops rather than broadband, climate change, economic stimulus, industrial relations and all the other measures for which Rudd has claimed a mandate and Turnbull has opposed.

Of course, there would be no point in a double dissolution if it could not be guaranteed to improve Labor’s position in the senate; the party’s tame psephologists must be crunching the numbers vigorously. But if Turnbull makes it an option and continues down the same political path, the end of October will start looking very tempting.

Almost all Rudd’s programs span two terms. Locking in the second a year in advance would be quite a bonus. And let’s face it, he won’t have Malcolm Turnbull to kick around forever.