So you want to be a branch stacker. Here’s Crikey’s handy four-step guide

Branch stacking is grubby work, and it’s not easy. Here’s Crikey’s how-to guide for aspiring branch stackers.

Step one: find some vulnerable communities to exploit

If you really want to stack a branch, you’re going to need power in numbers.

So find a vulnerable community to exploit. Migrant communities are frequently used for the purposes of branch stacking. You want people who might not know what they’re signing up for, as was alleged in this ABC investigation back in 2018.

Step two: fake it til you make it

In order for you to look like these are real genuine members, you’ll need to pretend that they have paid for their memberships themselves. Forging member signatures and creating false statements may be the way to go — you can use this to claim people have paid for their membership themselves.

If you’re struggling to find members to sign up en masse, consider signing up members with false addresses, so that later you can move them onto a different branch in a different location after their membership addresses have been accepted as genuine (known as “warehousing”).

Step three: outsource it

Branch stacking is labour-intensive work (no pun intended).

Find some loyal operatives to help you out with the work, like falsifying documents and forging signatures. Taxpayer-funded parliamentary employees might be an option. 

Step four: pay for memberships

Paying someone’s membership fees is a good way of encouraging them to sign up to the party. It’s also a breach of party rules so you’ll need to do this discreetly.

Find an ATM that’s located near a parking lot where you can make the drop. Withdraw multiple sums and put it in a folder ready to go.

And it’s as easy as that!