Q: As a young starlet with a penchant for wacky outfits, I’m used to being tailed by the paps. But after a recent musical performance in which a generous bulge (trick of the light perhaps?) happened to emerge from under my mini dress, I was not prepared for the backlash from those obsessed with gender binaries. Then a news outlet claimed they dug up an old quote of mine on the matter:

“It’s not something that I’m ashamed of, just isn’t something that I go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but I consider myself a female. It’s just a little bit of a p-nis and really doesn’t interfere much with my life. The reason I haven’t talked about it is that it’s not a big deal to me. Like come on. It’s not like we all go around talking about our v-gs. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I’m s-xy, I’m hot. I have both a poon and a peener. Big f-cking deal.”

That only fuelled further questions. The gossip is really taking the emphasis away from my career as a serious artist, although and now people are making a big deal of my lyrics “cause I’m bluffin’ with my muffin”. Surely in this post-gender world, I can rock my own disco stick and wear no pants, without it being a big issue?

L.G, Los Angeles, California.

A: If only it were a post-gender world L.G, we could all put up our hairy feet and relax. What would the paps have to write about without gender? Come to think of it, what would s-xy even look like without a strictly enforced separation between those with poons and those with peeners?

I can hear boredom with the gender binary, and your frustration that your body parts are getting all the attention. However, under your frustration I also sense understanding that the middlesexes have not been allowed a comfortable place in which to live. You yourself have decided to choose to be female in a world where there are barely words for those who live between. Perhaps examining this decision to choose to live as a woman will go some way to finding an answer to your question here. Even Prince is still called Prince, long after he decided to turn himself into a symbol.

But back to s-xy hotness. You let us know that you are hot and s-xy and proud of it. What is it that makes you so? I assume that as a female, to be considered s-xy, you must be able to be easily distinguished from a man. This is not simply a matter of genes and gender, but also of grooming and presentation. Add a bulge to this feminine image, even for a moment, and this expensively maintained persona of the hot female is disrupted. You have effectively culture jammed yourself. Remember that the tabloid world has yet to come to terms with Julia Roberts’ underarm hair. Your albeit tiny p-nis will not easily be overlooked.

You may not be able to have it both ways L.G. A pants-free woman with her own disco stick may be commonplace in the world of snails, but where you and I come from, it’s the final gender frontier. If you accept that display of your genital structure will draw attention, what do you propose to do with that attention? As you are aware, there are many like you who are waiting for a loophole in the cultural contract, and you can bet that for some, any new opening will be a big deal.

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